There are ways around the emotion, and it starts with being honest with yourself about why you’re feeling this way, and remembering to keep communication open and honest with your partner. Instead of continuing to wallow (if that’s where you currently are in your jealousy phase), here’s how to stop being jealous. We talked about our individual journeys, how a lot of work comes from knowing the “right” people, that my path wasn’t meant to mirror theirs.
“The most freeing thing one can do in a relationship is let go of worries about what all could possibly go wrong and focus on what is going right,” Chronister says. For instance, Chronister suggests placing your focus on the things your partner does that you’re grateful for, and reminding yourself daily that you are more than enough for your partner.
Black women are not meant to want much, to speak much; they are to take what is given and be grateful. “petty” further dehumanizes her when she is already being read as bitch, punchline, expendable body.
ANTONYMS FOR petty
I was, however, honestly expressing jealousy, my insecurities, my desire to do and be seen more. Black women are already alienated and marginalized, on the basis of Black womanhood alone. So when a Black woman expresses a feeling or opinion, it’s important to remember that your personal belief about what seems small or inconsequential isn’t final authority on its validity. I spoke to licensed clinical psychologist Kim Chronister, PsyD via email to get some insight into how to stop being jealous in your relationship, and Chronister suggests those trying to figure out how to get over jealousy is to shift their focus.
petty in British English
The blog recommended remaining calm throughout the conversation — this should be more of an expressive talk than a full-blown argument. The major problem is that many times people don’t know how to get over jealousy — so if it starts getting out of control — it can feel unbearable.
When a Black woman expresses her anger, fear, and frustration, she is often classified under the stereotype of “Angry Black Woman” or is dismissed entirely for being too loud or too much. Being petty is ripping all the covers off the bed and throwing them out the window, but being honorable or productive is pulling the covers over both of you and getting back to sleep. There is no award for that, either, and it definitely doesn’t feel as good. But you’ve preserved your relationship another day, and at least there’s the satisfaction of being better than all those other spiteful, petty people out there. There is no real benefit to creating bad feelings over behaviour that is annoying, but not to the point of being impossible to tolerate.
Andrew Zaeh for BustleIn the worst case scenario, your SO is actually going behind your back and cheating. If there is true evidence that your jealously is happening for a valid reason, it’s important to take action. Oprah recommended that if your partner is in fact cheating, you need to focus on what you should do about the relationship in terms of working past it vs. breaking up, rather than focusing on nixing your jealously. Our close friends are there for a reason — to be there for us when we really need it.
What is a petty person?
adjective. Petty is defined as something relatively worthless or unimportant. An example of petty is cash kept on hand for very small purchases. The definition of petty is someone who gets caught up in small details. An example of petty is a person who gets very angry when someone accidentally steps on their foot.
A hint of jealously here and there in a relationship might be no big deal, but what happens when jealously starts to completely take over? If you’re someone who tends to be ultra-jealous, you know what I mean here. I’ve rounded up some tips for being less jealous in your relationship in case you’re one of the readers out there who can’t seem to get past the emotion.
- The ongoing comparisons are not only unnecessary; they might also end up eating you alive.
- Instead of letting yourself wallow in jealousy, you can opt to take strides to feel less of the dreaded emotion in your relationship.
Examples of ‘petty’ in a sentence
The ongoing comparisons are not only unnecessary; they might also end up eating you alive. Instead of letting yourself wallow in jealousy, you can opt to take strides to feel less of the dreaded emotion in your relationship. Next time you feel jealously creeping up, try some of these tactics and you might find that managing the feelings becomes a lot easier. This is a very tactical way of subsiding jealousy, and according to the relationship experts at YourTango.com, it can actually be very effective.
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YourTango.com noted a journal could be a great place to keep tabs of your insecurities and frustrations related to jealousy, as it’s ideal for venting. The outlet noted you might feel better instantly simply by getting the thoughts out of your mind and down on paper. It’ll also give you an opportunity to get perspective when you go back and read what you’ve written. Are you so envious that you suddenly find yourself despising all other women around you?
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Chronister suggests practicing self-care techniques, like exercise and outings with friends to boost self-esteem. “The better you feel about yourself the more you can let go about what others do when you are not looking,” Chronister says. Hannah Burton/BustleAnother good way to help move past the jealously you’re experiencing is by keeping a journal.
EverydayHealth said to think through how the jealousy is negatively affecting you as an individual. By fully coming to terms with how the jealously is changing you/making you behave and feel, you might be more apt to figure out how to get over jealousy and let it go. Andrew Zaeh for BustleIf you’ve been overcome with jealousy lately, it might be time to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about how you’re feeling and why you might be feeling this way. According to the U.K.’s National Health Service blog, remember to express your feeling without placing blame on them, and pointing out specifically what it is that is making you feel jealous.
Use these friendships to your advantage here, and talk out your jealously issues with someone who can provide an outside perspective to what’s happening, according to Psych Central. The outlet reiterated, though, the importance of making sure you’ve also discussed the issues with your partner, too. The biggest problem about codependent tendencies is that they breed resentment. Sure, if my girlfriend gets mad at me once in a while because she’s had a shitty day and is frustrated and needs attention, that’s understandable. But if it becomes an expectation that my life revolves around her emotional well-being at all times, then I’m soon going to become very bitter and even manipulative towards her feelings and desires.
It seemed as though the death of Black women was inconsequential, nothing worth noting — and that talking about it would derail the work that had been done to fight for Black men. As if, in comparison, Black women weren’t as affected by white supremacy as Black men. As if Black women hadn’t been at the forefront of the Black Lives Matter Movement since its inception.
Put a rubber band around your wrist, and each time you start feeling yourself slip into jealously, snap the rubber band. It can literally help to “snap” you out of the feeling before it completely takes over. Even when it comes to matters of life and death, to assault and sexual violence, Black women are silenced. If you’re having trouble imagining the feeling away, you can also try letting go of jealousy by keeping yourself busy.